Monday, April 25, 2011

Zombie Jesus Hates Me

I haven't been healthy on Easter for the last six years. It doesn't matter if the date changes; for instance, Easter was supposably late this year, but I'm always sick on that specific day.

The day usually starts out normal. I wake up, we bum around with coffee and chocolate bunnies (I detest peeps and jelly beans), we start the mad rush to make it to the hosting family members house, and then I get sick. It's usually something like a head cold. You know, dopey, stuffy, tired, that sort of thing. I end up crashing on a couch or bed for most of the get together.

This year was no exception. The only difference was that my illness started ahead of time. I've had a wicked cough for the last several days. I survived most of Easter dinner, though. Only when dessert rolled around did I start to fall apart.

THEN I got to come back to school and start doing all the reading I've been ignoring because I had a final today. Go, Arc, go!

I've just come to the conclusion that Jesus hates me. When he rises from the dead, he steals some of my life energy, leaving me drained and sick and making all the Christians happy. Who cares if he messes with Arc's Easter? She's just a heathen Pagan.

And for the record, Jesus was Jewish. Just because no one seems to remember that.

Hope you had a nice Easter, everyone! No, I will NOT use that horrible "hoppy" pun. It's awful.

Wander safely,
Arc.

P.S. I learned why the Easter bunny lays eggs! I'll tell anyone who's interested :)

4 comments:

  1. He was Jewish by nationality.

    \..Areia../

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  3. ... Why does the Easter bunny lay eggs?

    -|Charna|-

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  4. Wow, a comment from all three of you? I feel special :)

    The story behind the Easter Bunny is more of a myth. Estra was the goddess of spring and women. Every year, she'd come to the earth on the same day and banish winter, and the animals would come out to greet her. One year, she came late. The animals came out anyways and many were hurt by the cold. One little bird, in particular, had its wings damaged and it couldn't fly again. Feeling guilty, Estra turned the bird into a rabbit, thinking that if the bird couldn't fly, at least it could run very fast. But every year, on the day Estra banishes winter, or otherwise known as Easter, the rabbit lays eggs in thanks to Estra and in memory of the bird it used to be.

    Interesting, isn't it?

    -Arc.

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