Mater* and I can never take a trip together without nearly dying of laughter. That or crashing the car due to said laughter. Mostly, I think it’s due to communication issues, or maybe we just find anything nearly-die-of-laughter-regardless-of-how-stupid funny.
Esempio Uno*:
Mater and I are driving home at night. She's in the middle of telling me about something that happened during her day. She's not paying much attention to the road, or the possum that has just wandered into it.
Me: Possum.
Mater: *doesn't notice and keeps talking*
Me: POSSUM.
Mater: *Still doesn't notice, still talking*
Me: POSSUM POSSUM POSSUM POSSUM POSSUM POSSUM POSSUM POSSUM!!!!!!
Mater: *getting exasperated* What the hell. If you don't want to hear my story-
Me: YOU'RE GOING TO HIT THE POSSUM!!!!!
In my defense, shouting "POSSUM!!!" made perfect sense. If I shouted "JOHNNY DEPP!", wouldn't you immediately start looking for Johnny Depp?
Esempio Due*:
Mater doesn't slow down for animals (as probably shown above). She is a large believer in natural selection; if it's smart, it'll move. For her credit, she's never hit an animal, but that doesn't stop my or Sorella's* adamant demands to slow down for them.
On a trip into NYC to pick up my things from my dorm, I tell her to slow down for a pigeon.
Mater: Don't worry, it'll move.
Me: No, it won't! I stepped on a dead one the other day.
Mater: Well, of COURSE it didn't move! It was DEAD.
Me: EXACTLY!!
Mater: Listen to yourself, YOU'RE A COLLEGE STUDENT.
Me: What do you mean, listen to myself, it didn't move, so it DIED!
Mater: OH!
When I provided that I stepped on a dead pigeon, she assumed I thought that even though it was dead, it would have moved. I, on the other hand, was proving that they don't always move, seeing as I found a dead one.
Esempio Trè*:
We're bad with directions. We make one mistake headed somewhere ONCE, and from that point on, we make the same mistake EVERY TIME. Mistakes are just so comforting. We found this incredibly funny during our trip to Pleasantville on Three Kings Day.
Me: Where are we going?
Mater: To the diner.
Me: But isn't the diner back there...?
Mater: Of course it is. But this is the way we go: we amble through town, pass the diner, go into the parking lot on the side street, come out the other side, and park by the diner.
Me: ...That is what we always do, isn't it?
While we were dying of laughter about this, Sorella was freaking out in the back seat because we weren't paying attention to the road. Intelligence: WE HAS IT.
Similarly, we ALWAYS make a wrong turn when we go up to Cambridge. Because of this, we end up lost in the MIT campus, wandering around aimlessly until we find our way back to the main road and continue up to Cambridge. She and my Pater* made this mistake the first time about eleven years ago and hence, we've made it ever since.
Me: Where are we going?
Mater: To the diner.
Me: But isn't the diner back there...?
Mater: Of course it is. But this is the way we go: we amble through town, pass the diner, go into the parking lot on the side street, come out the other side, and park by the diner.
Me: ...That is what we always do, isn't it?
While we were dying of laughter about this, Sorella was freaking out in the back seat because we weren't paying attention to the road. Intelligence: WE HAS IT.
Similarly, we ALWAYS make a wrong turn when we go up to Cambridge. Because of this, we end up lost in the MIT campus, wandering around aimlessly until we find our way back to the main road and continue up to Cambridge. She and my Pater* made this mistake the first time about eleven years ago and hence, we've made it ever since.
Moral of the stories? Pay attention to the road, no matter how ridiculously funny it can be.
Wander safely,
Wander safely,
Arc.
*Check the oh-so-fancy new tabs up there :D
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